


Mystery of the Lost Recipeh

by Jastiss



Series: Lost Recipeh chronicles [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, What Was I Thinking, blame olive garden, crackfic, random post on facebook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 01:31:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12570688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jastiss/pseuds/Jastiss
Summary: Pure insanity inspired by an insert from Olive Garden.  Ignis loses his recipeh book and dumb things ensue.Something to soothe our souls after the Episode Ignis trailer.





	Mystery of the Lost Recipeh

**Author's Note:**

> Pure crackfic, not beta'd. Not meant to be taken seriously at all. I saw the thing from Olive Garden and thought someone needed to do something with it, so here we are.
> 
> Inspiration taken from the scene in which the chocobo steals Ignis's spectacles.
> 
> Also, everything is owned by SE. I'm simply playing around with the characters.

"Nooooooooct!" 

Already dozing on a campchair nearby, the Prince jolted awake at the veritable screech of his name by his right hand.  Panicking, he all but tumbled out of the chair and ran quickly to Ignis's side. 

"What is it?  What's going on?" Noct demanded, looking around frantically.  Not many things could panic the strategist, and it surely had the prince on edge. 

Ignis heaved a great, indignant sigh as he flitted this way and that, searching for something.  "I... Astrals, where is it?  Noctis, have you perchance seen my notebook?" 

Noct blinked dumbly up at his adviser, unsure of what to make of the situation.  "I'm sorry, what?" 

"Noct, are you listening?  My notebook!  Do you know where it is?" 

"Are we talking about that thing you're always scribbling in?  What's so important about it?  Do we need to do this right now?" Noct asked, trying to gain clarity with a sleep fogged mind. 

Noct could count on one hand how many times he was afraid of Ignis Scientia.  When the much taller man rounded on him, both hands firmly on his hips and fire in his emerald eyes, Noct added one to his list.  The strategist was terrifying when he was angry.  Gulping, the raven-haired prince offered a weak smile, hoping to placate his friend. 

No such luck. 

"Do you seriously mean to ask me what is so important about my notebook?" Ignis asked, voice dangerously calm.  "Absolutely, we must take care of this now.  Noct, that notebook contains every recipe I have written and without it, how shall I feed the four of us?" 

Absolute silence fell.  Ignis needed help finding his recipe book.  Noct let that tumble around in his mind for a moment.  Ignis couldn't find his damned recipe book and was freaking out about it.  Oh, no.  The prince could feel raucous laughter bubbling up and tried so hard to dampen it but... 

The loudest, most obnoxious peal of laughter left his mouth, aimed squarely at Ignis's face.  Not even the look of pure loathing from his friend could stop it.  In fact, the blond's ire fueled Noct's laughter and before long the prince doubled over, gasping and holding his sides. 

At last, Gladio and Prompto jogged into camp, both pairs of eyes settling on Noct as he struggled to regain his composure.  Above him, Ignis glared hellfire down upon him, likely cursing the entire line of Lucis with the amount of venom dripping from his gaze. 

(Somewhere in the distance, Ardyn felt a twinge of pain in his chest and brushed it off as a muscle spasm.) 

They watched in amusement as Ignis's fingers twitched, halfway reaching for a nearby pan.  Surely, he wouldn't... the lithe fingers pulled back before reaching again for the pan. 

"Noctis.  Lucis.  Caelum," Ignis ground out, voice gravelly with barely contained fury.  His searching fingers found the pan and gripped it with such force, his already pale knuckles went paper white.  
   
"That's me," Noct gasped out, tears streaming down his fair visage as laughter continued to spill forth.  He knew he should be concerned with the pan in Ignis's right hand but Astrals, he looked so funny wielding a kitchen item.  "Are you sure you can't just... come up with a new recipeh?" 

That was it.  Gladio let out a huge guffaw as Prompto giggled beside him.  Ignis was dead silent. 

Silent Ignis meant trouble, and as he swung the pan, Noct scrambled sideways, warping to the other side of the campsite, again clutching his sides.  Ignis charged after him, leaving Gladio and Prompto to cackle at the scene unfolding before them. 

"Bloody hell, Noct, you hid it, didn't you?  You saw me add the vegetable stew to the book and thought you might sabotage a healthy meal!" the adviser accused, gesturing wildly with the pan. 

"Notebook, notebook... doesn't ring a bell, Specs," Noct called back, rubbing his chin in mock consternation.  "I bet it's... right under your nose." 

Leaping over the fire pit, the blond man was closing in on his prey.  "It very well is not right under my nose, Highness.  I have scoured this camp and it is nowhere to be found!" 

Gladio could take it no longer.  Cradling his stomach, he waddled over to stand in between the two friends and raised a single hand, still chuckling. 

"Iggy," he managed between fits, "buddy... your shirt has pockets, right?" 

A frustrated grunt followed the query.  "But of course it has pockets, Gladiolus.  It's formal attire, unlike your... your... Astrals, what do you call that particular type of apparel?" 

"Wifebeater," Gladio supplied, a fresh round of chuckles taking over.  "Iggy, man.  Did you check everywhere?  Like, in your pockets and everything?" 

Noct's roaring laughter rang out once again, this time accompanied by Prompto's as both boys fell to the ground, both consumed by the hilarity.  Ignis stood stock still and Gladio could see him gulp, face blanching as he realized his grave mistake.  As if in slow motion, the strategist brought his free hand up to his breast pocket and tapped against the notebook that rested there. 

Prompto had crawled over to clutch Noct, and both boys were gripping the other while crying into the dry Leidan dirt.  Gladio somehow managed to compose himself, walking over to Ignis to take the pan from his hand and patted him on the shoulder. 

"It's alright, Iggy, we're all human," he said amiably, shuffling over to the camp stove. 

Noct, still laughing, stood and plucked the book from its place in Ignis's pocket and headed to the stove as well.  "Alright, who's hungry?  I've got the black book and I don't think I'm that rusty... the customers at the diner didn't seem to mind the bits of char in their food..." 

It was at that point that Ignis finally moved, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he hurried over to the stove, shooing the others away.  "That will do, Noct.  Now, what shall we have this evening?  Can we also agree to never speak of this again?  Just under a bit of stress, is all." 

The Incident of the Lost Recipe, to Ignis's chagrin, would remain a hot topic for many years. 


End file.
